Friday, February 25, 2011

waking up

I was driving down the road when it hit me, suddenly - 
this is home. 

There's no going back to the way things were before. This is where I am; this is where I'm supposed to be. Arguing with the truth won't change anything. It will only prevent me from living life. Maybe it's time to stop drifting and start trying. 

A little bit of hope pokes its way up toward the sun. 



(Spring is coming!) 

Monday, February 14, 2011

This is true love. You think this happens every day?


That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, 
"I love you." 
And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly 
loved him back.


~ The Princess Bride

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Roger, Sandy, Adriana

I haven't seen you in years now, and I don't know where you are or how I could find you if I wanted to. I don't even know if you remember me. I knew you when I was a lonely ten year-old, when the library was still magical and books were my only friends, before I learned it was uncool to be too smart. You were my refuge and my escape. 


You were always so kind. You'd bring me cookies while my brother was in his preschool story group, and let me eat them in the break room with you. You would take me aside and say, "I think you would really like this book," because you knew the books I loved. 


I came in one day and told you that I had decided I was going to learn about everything. You didn't laugh, but you grinned and said, "Let me know how it goes." 
Sometimes you'd catch my gaze when the building was crowded with students, and you'd roll your eyes and just laugh. And I'd laugh too, because your good humor was contagious.

I remember one day I had checked out a book about space, and I was talking to you about it. You said, "Someday are you going to be an astronaut?" I said, "No. I would love to, but I'm not good enough at math." You looked straight at me, and said passionately, "You can do anything you want to do." You held my gaze for a second, to make sure I understood how serious you were. 
I understood, and I loved you for it. I knew you were confident in me, even if I was not. And I've held on to that faith you gave me all these years. 

The three of you were so kind to me. You hold a very dear place in my heart. Where ever you are now, I pray that God blesses you; you were His blessing to me. 

The point of this letter is this: I won a national poetry contest. I am going to be published, and maybe by some strange chance you'll happen to see my name. Even if you don't remember me, I hope you like the poem. Because you were the three people I most wanted to tell. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

despondency

I wish I knew the answers. I wish I could pull a George Bailey and see what needs to be done, and why I should do it, and what will happen if I don't. And see where it will all end up.
But what does it matter, anyway? The world keeps turning. People keep living, loving, singing, crying, feeling, hoping, dreaming, dying, and this ancient empty world just keeps spinning along, slowly but still much too fast.




(It's extremely hard to study when I'm in a mood like this. All I want to do is read poetry.)

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

dark nights

calmer seas, colder nights.

rocking in the moonlight

you sing to keep me warm

i dance to make you smile.

i wonder where we are

have we been here for a while?

hold my hand and we'll follow a star

we'll search till we find it

we'll wander far

you keep singing

i'll keep searching

you find the answers

i'll find the Saviour.


Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I'm afraid it's been too long
To try to find the reasons why
I let my world close in around a smaller patch of faded sky
But now I've grown beyond the walls to where I've never been
And it's still winter in my wonderland

I'm waiting for the world to fall
I'm waiting for the scene to change
I'm waiting when the colors come
I'm waiting to let my world
come undone

A little more than make-believe when all my skies are painted blue
and all these clouds don't ever change the shape of who I am to you

When I catch the light of falling stars my view is changing me
my view is changing

~ Waiting for the World to Fall, Jars of Clay