500 Days of Summer

poem for an autumn wednesday

I looked in my heart while the wild swans went over. 

And what did I see I had not seen before?

Only a question less or a question more;

Nothing to match the flight of wild birds flying.

Tiresome heart, forever living and dying,

House without air, I leave you and lock your door.

Wild swans, come over the town, come over

The town again, trailing your legs and crying!

~ Wild Swans by Edna St. Vincent Millay

afternoon epiphany

Today I sat out on the back lawn at school, cramming in the free hour before French 101. I had a head cold and no lunch.
But the sky was singularly blue, deep enough to drown in. A few full-bodied clouds sailed slowly over the mountains. They were dazzlingly white. I sat there on the short soft grass, and the sun was butter.
  And I had the first coherent thought I've had in a while:

Life could be worse. This isn't so bad.

I smiled a little, and my day was better after that.

{photo taken by me, a while ago, and very far from here}

'I've been convincing myself that I'm worthwhile

'Cause I'm worth what I'll convince myself to be.'

(If You Want It) by Relient K

photo by Aey Laboratories 

you're already home if you feel loved

Sometimes, in the long low nights of the summer, I've gone outside onto the porch or the grass. I'll sit alone in the twilight and wait for the dusk to deepen. I wait for the stars to come out, one by one. And I listen to the trains go by somewhere out of sight.

This song gives me the same feeling as those summer nights. 

*I realize that the video is set in the wrong season. Just listen. Just listen.