green water, black water

There was a lake, I was in it. The water was bottle-green and so calm, smooth as bedsheets. I swam out until I was alone. The sunlight glinted off the surface in white spangles as far as I could see, and I stopped to tread water and drink in the glory. My feet kicked the ice-coldness five feet down. I shifted to my back and stared up at the sky. It was bottomless. My eyes couldn't focus on it.
 I  thought about a boy, and I thought about the overwhelming beauty all around me. I wondered if this is the broken heart that all the songs talk about.

Later, after the sun set that night, I set out into the darkness and swam again. The moon was huge and close and almost full. I swam in its reflection, fragmented in the black water. I swam out far enough to see the fireworks going off over another cove. The water held me up. It was silk; I was alone. I watched the glittery lights of docks shatter on the other shore. I was at peace, for the moment.

But before that, back in the sunlight, I was staying afloat as best I could. When my thoughts got too heavy, I rolled over. The water was a kiss. I turned around and swam for home.

definitions

want n. 1. The condition or quality of lacking something usual or necessary. 3. Something desired: a person of few wants. 4. A defect of character, a fault.
          —"want." The American Heritage High School Dictionary. 4th ed. 2004. Print.

beauty n. 1. The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality. 2. One that is beautiful.
         — "beauty." The American Heritage High School Dictionary. 

space n. 6. Sufficient freedom from external pressure for oneself and one's needs.
         —"space." The American Heritage High School Dictionary.
1. distance extending without limit in all directions; that which is thought of as a boundless, continuous expanse extending in all directions or in three dimensions, within which all material things  are contained.
         — "space." Webster's New Twentieth Century Dictionary Unabridged. 2nd ed. 1983. Print.

to-do list for July

• stay away from mirrors
• freckle
• eat orange popsicles
• take it one day at a time